My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
