Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
