just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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