my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
