You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
