a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
