drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize