the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
