Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
