I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
