I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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