everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
