Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
