i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
