Your tits are I can't wait for
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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