Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I will be naked everywhere
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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