We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
