loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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