normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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