i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
