I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize