PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
