I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
