I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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