Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
