Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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