Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
