He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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