WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize