I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
