so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
