She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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