if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
