im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
