Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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