holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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