We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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