someone get that fucking seahorse.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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