You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
