Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
