Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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