guys are only as good as the porn they watch
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
