it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
