I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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