I wish i was in the wii world.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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