hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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