WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
