went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize