My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
