the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize