i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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