If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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