I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
