What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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