physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
