I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently you make a good broom.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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