You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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