If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The struggles of a small town man whore
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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