Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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