I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
