Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
