you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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