you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
