Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
