Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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