Too much gin, very little bucket
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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