:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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